:the_kindler_diaries:

10 things that I love...

2009-10-01T07:47:00.000-07:00

1. I love God.. Yeah... I'm quite sure everyone does. :)

2. I love my family and friends..

3. I love my current school, as well as the things that she imparted to me and the colleagues that I gained so far.

4. I love UE-Litratista!(The next big thing.)

5. I love my current status as a student of UE(rising org president/future SC officer, hihihi!)

6. I love.. my Pink Girl! <3

7. I love my Nikon D80 and photography. :)

8. I love what I am experiencing so far. I'm learning from them so much. :)

9. I love myself. :)

10. And lastly.. I love living my life to the fullest. :)

For the heck of it...

2009-09-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I'm stressed out these past few days. Let me count the reasons in:

1. I have to attend to my duties as UE-Litratista's President, plus the fact that I have to please a lot of people in order to cope up to their expectations, considering the fact that almost everyone in UE knows our existence, and that a lot of organizations seek our services.

2. September is a busy month after all.. Yeah, I'm loaded up with projects, activities, proposals and events to attend to, more specifically with the upcoming foundation week. Darn it.. And oh, am I forgetting my academic life?

3. I'm totally confused... Do I just like HER?

Well, good luck with that... For the heck of it, I have no idea whether I can do all of them at the same time...

Saturday: Scott Kelby's Worldwide Photowalk

2009-07-20T03:27:00.000-07:00

UE-Litratista: Tired but Happy

Yep, as the title says. It was a successful event for all of us. It was a day wherein most of us bonded with each other, while sharing what we love the most.

I'm glad that all the weeks we have spent for this monumental event was fulfilled into fruition, and I'm happy that I am a part of it. :)

Congratulations to UE-Litratista! Let's do it again next time shall we? And of course, I would like to thank our guests for gracing our walk last Saturday. It's fun working with you guys.

And yeah, everything has just begun.. I'm quite sure that we'll be recognized as a true organization of UE real soon, and trust me, it will happen. :)

UE Litratista

2009-07-13T06:10:00.001-07:00

I'm inviting you guys to check out UE's budding Photography Organization, UE Litratista.

So far we're on a good start. We have done a photoshoot already and we're about to join Scott Kelby's Worldwide Photowalk this Saturday. And yeah, we're hoping that we'll be recognized as an organization real soon..

Here's our site: http://uelitratista.forumotion.net

Goodtimes!

I'm back!

2009-03-07T05:33:00.000-08:00

After a month of hiatus, finally I'm back into blogging. Sorry if I am quite unable to post some updates here. I was a bit busy lately. That hindered me from touching my blog even just a bit.

So many things have happened. My life during these past couple of weeks was a personal hell for me, but still I have a myriad of reasons to wear this smile and cope on..

A big thanks for those people who backed me up during these past weeks. Probably I'll be in a conundrum of sorts if it were not for you guys..

I'll be posting a lot of things tomorrow, so you better check it out. :)

Ciao!

Jan. 24, 2009 (Mr. and Ms. Cardinals 2009)

2009-01-24T03:15:00.000-08:00

For this post, I'll be using Buddie's good luck card.

So much has happened yesterday. It was a very toxic day to say the least. But even though it was a tiring one, it was all worth it.

After my last class, I decided to take a breather at SM Manila, while waiting for my friend who'll accompany me for the pageant night of the Mr. & Ms. Cardinals 2009 at Mapua. Fact is, I'm so much worried about Chelle, and how she'll fare during that night. But nonetheless, I know she can do it.

After having a quick chitchat with my AT1 friends at McDo and meeting my friend, we went straight to Mapua for the Red Carpet presentation of the candidates. I can sense her nervousness during the presentation.

After the short premier, she asked me to see her together with some of my friends. We took pics and wished her good luck. Afterwards, we waited for minutes before getting on the queue that leads to Mapua Gym, the venue of the pageant.

Actually, I was also kind of busy during that night. I've had to help her at the dressing room with her stuff, give her spiels and the like. It was tiring, but yet, it's worth it. The two of us even prayed before her opening ramp. I held her hand to show her that I'll be supporting her til' the show ends.

Just for the sake of my Buddie delivering the best performance of her life.

And she delivered.

She did well upon the theme wear, sports attire and formal dress presentations. She even won two major awards and bagged the top spot for the top 5.

But then, she came up short winning the title. She made it upon the fourth place.

Although with the given result, it was all worth it. She proved that she could do it, despite the different pressures. Even though she came up short, for all of us she was the winner.

I came home very late. I arrived past 12am.

It was truly tiring, yet I don't regret it.

So-happy Friday.. :)

2009-01-09T22:30:00.000-08:00

09-01-2009. Friday. That day, most devotees celebrated the feast of the Black Nazarene.

Actually, we don't have any classes at all yesterday, but I elected to go to my aunt's office and stay there until the malls do open. I'm bored kasi at home, so there you go. Wala akong ginawa dun but to browse the net while drinking coffee.

Luckily, my close friend Melissa went to San Beda yesterday even though wala din silang pasok just to meet her classmate and retrieve her book in ASP.net. She has also seen first hand the stream of devotees approaching and waiting at Recto and Carriedo.

So I asked her to go to MoA with me. I missed her company kasi, plus the fact that I think it's a good time for the two of us to, you know bond again and reminisce old times.

So we went to MoA. And God, we've had an awesome time there. From our usual shopping rituals, to trippings, and much more. We enjoyed every single bit of each moment passed.

Thank you so much Melissa for giving me one heck of a good time. :)

Even though that day was tiring, I have no regrets..

The thing about homosexuals, bisexuals and straight people..

2009-01-08T08:06:00.000-08:00

Time Check: it's 12:10 am. I have to sleep na but knowing that I have to express what I feel bout' these gender issues today, I elected instead to stay up late at night and think of a proper view to post here.

So let us deal with the issue at hand:

"When and how does one become a homosexual, bisexual or straight?"

I actually got curious about this issue since Tuesday pa. I was listening to Secret Tuesdays at Mellow 94.7 when suddenly, a lot of listeners pitched in their secrets telling that they have done it or they were attracted to someone of their same sex, but they consider themselves as straight.

So, just like how Djs Marco and D reacted to these secrets, I got confused too by how we must define homosexuality and the like. Because of the brewing confusion and curiosity bout' the issue, the two of them decided to include it as a topic for Relationships 94.7 today. It was a great topic. For the first time, they over-extended the topic for 3 hours because of too much responses, curiosity, confusion, and the listeners as well as Marco and D's desire to understand further this matter.

So, first things first. I am not posting this post just because I want to pin down these gay people nor judge them neither to tell what is right and wrong. I am here to share my piece of perspective about that, in hopes that I can help you in understanding the matter. I do believe that this issue is indeed relevant to our present society, as well as in a relationship. I also have the utmost respect for these homosexuals, due to the fact that they are able to carry who they are.

So, again. Do we have to conclude or rather, label these people easily that they are gay by simply depending on their attraction towards persons of the same sex? Or do we have to simply see how they act and feel about their sexual tendencies?

Before I give my view bout' that, let us first give the main viewpoints or norms about the definition of such terms:

Heterosexuals: You are attracted and aroused to the opposite sex.
Homosexuals: You are attracted and aroused to the same sex as well as bisexuals.
Bisexuals: Sexual preference include those of the homosexuals, heterosexuals and fellow bi's.
Trippers: Those who prefer both sexes but are coping upon understanding if they are bisexuals.

So, I think it goes like this. Admiring someone of the same sex or probably, being attracted to them doesn't mean that they are homosexuals. But if they choose to become one, or rather think and feel deeply that they want this person(of the same sex) to be their partner then perhaps you can be a homosexual. That goes to all sexual orientations as well. You have that CHOICE. If you choose to be, then you will be.

We must also consider the fact that all of us have this sort of attraction to both sexes as well as having a feminine and masculine side. Having those sides doesn't determine your sexual orientation. Again, it's your thoughts. Your emotions. Your CHOICE. They define what you really are.

Now, let us face it: not all of us are open to this aspect. Some of us can't just touch the reality of who they are and how this society views them.

I really hate how this world uses these labels to declare and define the norms of society. This is definitely wrong. In the end, no one has a right to just easily label these persons. For one's worth, we are human. We are not mere labels.

It's also about acceptance, as well as facing reality and our very own humanity as well. Every single one of us, be it gay or whatever, has a right to be loved, cared and appreciated. We must learn to accept who we are as well as other people and be open to the fact that we all have flaws and that we all desire to be happy.

Still, it is sad to know how much these homosexuals have to cope with the society they're living in. Try to reflect this line from the song "Break Even" By the Script:

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

That's the sad part of being a homosexual. Living in an unaccepting society is like being alive but barely breathing for your dear life, that you'll even wish to God that things were not this way, because in the end, no matter how you stand for yourself, as long as this world doesn't learn to accept, it won't be EVEN.

Thanks to all the people who helped me with this blog post, particularly Melissa. Thank you for helping me kind of understand what is going on..

Again, it's about CHOICE, and ACCEPTANCE.

Reason, Season or a Lifetime.

2009-01-02T04:09:00.000-08:00

Reason, Season or a Lifetime.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. (Note: please don’t ask us why that last line is there - about the friendship is clairvoyant. It just is.)

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

A poem dedicated for this new year. :)

2009-01-02T02:29:00.000-08:00

Actually, I made this poem a year ago. I just decided that I have to post it here since it suits the new year's spirit, plus the fact that it expresses how much I am in love right now. So hope you'll like the poem. :)

Fireworks

The flowers are set alight,
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream.

Two petals from these fireworks of dreams fall quietly in the sky.
Did you, who went to the other side, see it too?
It's the same light,
And even if the two are apart, I believe that they'll come together again someday.

I'm singing to you, singing of this love that tears my heart apart. Can you hear my voice?
It's fireworks, bursting in an instant.

Bloom proudly, way up high,
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream.
The love that protects us rings out in earnest.
At least it will be strong until the end.
The flowers are set alight.

Can you see?
It's fireworks, bursting in an instant.

Sparkle, dance, set up a blue dream,
Until that day comes wherein we'll meet each other once more.
You, me and the love that joins us,
It will be strong together, forever.

Bloom proudly, way up high,
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream.
The love that protects us rings out in earnest.
At least it will be strong til' the end.
The flowers are set alight.

Can you see it?
It's fireworks, sending us hope in an instant..

A New Year.. :)

2009-01-02T01:49:00.000-08:00

Before I start my first blog post of 2009, let me greet everyone a blessed and happy new year!

Time flew so fast, so fast that I could compare the year that was to a sudden flash. It was like everything happened just moments ago, that we're unable to see that everything's ending, paving way for a new beginning.

Many things occurred this year. Love them, or hate them, we have to move on from them and utilize them instead as a means of hope for us to be able to face tomorrow and become better persons.

Well, I just hope that 2009 will be a more awesome year for everyone.

(crosses fingers)

Christmas Week.. :)

2008-12-23T21:33:00.001-08:00

Since it's Christmas Week na, I'll be using Buddie's holiday greeting pic for this blog post. :)

Anyways, I'm really happy these past few days. Imagine meeting your old friends again and having a cool time with them.

Yep. Me and my highschool friends did a small reunion this Monday. Actually, I got to home at 12 am, while the others stayed past 6am. Sayang, but yet kahit saglit lang ako dun, I really did enjoyed their company.

"Hope those times last forever.." Yep.. I really do.

The exciting part of the party is the Tekken tournament. Yeah. And guess what, it's the good ol' Master Kim who grabbed the victory in the end. Darn, dapat pala sumali ako. Haha. La lang. Gs2 ko kc maexperience makalaban si Kim, win or lose. Galing kc ni2 eh. Hayup, haha!

Last Tuesday naman, my friend Grace celebrated her 18th birthday at Ayala. Me, Kim, Mb, Kaye, Jovy, Lery and Shun-chan were present for the party. We enjoyed the company of each other during the party. It was awesome.

So forgive moi if I'm not in my proper self this time, hehe..

Tomorrow I'll be celebrating Christmas naman in a manner that I consider tradition: gimmick mode. :)

And right now, me and my family will be doing a midnight dinner with our other relatives.

This Christmas will be a memorable one for me.

I just hope that my Christmas wish will be fulfilled. After all, that wish is not for me, but for someone that I really do love..

Let's make this year's Christmas a memorable one. :)

If ur in-love..

2008-12-15T04:25:00.001-08:00

I have no idea why I posted this. Actually this one came from a friend of mine.

*****

Inlab ka na pag nagsisimula ka nang magtanong ng mga ganitong bagay….!!! di’ba?? parang tanga lang ah!! hahaha!! So PAANO MO BA TALAGA MALALAMAN KUNG INLAB KA NA?? HAHAHA!! Romantic love? Platonic love?? Naglalagab-love?? Ewan ko sa’yo!! Wellz, lemme tell you sumpin… when you suddenly find yourself thinking of the ‘US’ word instead of the ‘me’ word, congrats!! napana ka na ng ISTUPIDONG SI KUPIDO…. ibig sabihin nawawala na ang pagiging makasarili mo kung ganun ka, KASI NAGSISIMULA KA NG MAG-ISIP HINDI PARA LANG SAYO KUNGDI PARA SA IBA NA DIN… when you suddenly find yourself thinking of weddings and white picket fences… when you suddenly imagine kids that look like your partner..why, you even give them names! like for real, JUNYOR, DAYUNYOR, BIK-BOK THE THIRD, ETC. hehehe…. it’s when the thought of your future without him/her in the picture makes you shiver with fear…. you know it’s love when you’re more concerned about your partner’s well being than your own…. N’ as my happily married friend said, love is when you begin to appreciate your partner for the same reasons you dislike him/her.

FOR EXAMPLE…. ETO ANG MGA KADIRI AT SWEET NA EKSAMPOL!!

Alam mong in love ka na pag kahit na nasa CR ka eh mukha nya ang nakikita mo……. “BAKIT MUKHA BA SYANG ETCHAS?? O MAPANGHE BA SYA?? ANO??! =)

You’ll read his/her IM’S, texts, e-mails over and over again…

PAG NAGIGING CORNY KA NA!!! KAHIT BRUSKONG BRUSKO KA!! HAHAHA!!

Pag patago kang bumibili sa DANGWA ng bulaklak at pag may nakakita sayo na tropa mo at tinanong ka kung para kanino yun eh ang sasabihin mo eh dadalawin mo ang puntod ng lola mo… ON A VALENTINE’S DAY!! Tingnan mo nga naman… tsk tsk tsk!! =)

Kahit na isang text lang.. kumpleto na araw mo! ngiti hanggang tenga.. alam mo yan!

You’ll walk really really slow while you’re with him/her.. kahit IHING-IHI KA NA!! O kaya nag-aalboroto na ang tyan mo dahil sa kinain mong ITLOG NA MAALAT!!

Parang kahit hate ka na ng buong mundo ayos lang.. basta wag lang sya..

You’ll feel shy whenever you’re with him/her.. kahit NAPAKA-KAPAL NG PAGMUMUKHA MO!!

Nagiging humble ka kahit sukdulan hanggang langit ang pagka-mayabang mo! na tipong halos kalahati ng pilipinas ay pag-aari mo… daw.. sabi mo!

While thinking bout him/her.. your heart will beat faster and slower at the same time..

Sinasabi mo sa kanya na “goodbye” pero ang gusto mo naman talagang sabihin ay… “please stay”

By listening to his/her voice..you’ll smile for no reason na parang tanga lang!! haha!

While looking at him/her..you cant see the other people around you.. you can only see that person… kahit na malabo ang mga mata mo!!

Feels like you’re in heaven yet you want to be with him/her kahit na he/she is from hell.. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You’ll start listening to SLOW songs.
He/She becomes all you think about, kahit hindi ka nakikinig ng mga kanta ni STEPHEN BISHOP at DAVID POMERANZ eh magsasayang ka ng oras sa internet para hanapin at ipini-print pa sa papel ang lyrics!!

You’ll get high just by their smell… ano sya MARIJUANA?? COCAINE? ACID? KETAMINE? EKIS PINOY? SHABU? LSD? RUGBY? UTOT? SOLVENT? ECSTACY? X-TANO?? NGEE!! HAHAHAHA!! ADIK!! =)

Sa kanya lang “umiikot” ang mundo mo kahit “hilong-hilo” ka na at kahit sa iba naman umiikot ang sa kanya.. aray!

You’ll realize that you’re always smiling to yourself when you think about him/her.. hala ka!! sa MANDALUYONG na ang bagsak mo nyan!! Sa MENTAL na kayo magre-reunion nyan!! (madami kasing nabaliw sa pag-ibig) AMININ!!

Pinalalaya mo na sya kung talagang ayaw na nya.

You’ll do anything for him/her…

While reading this, there’s ONE person on your mind the whole time. yiheee!! ANO TATAWA-TAWA KA NGAYON NOH?! BUKING…!!!!

You know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world, like for real!

Kapag umutot nang malakas yung partner mo sa harap mo, tapos hindi ka na-offend o nandiri man lang at sa tingin mo eh cute pa yun. :p

Kahit BAD BREATH sya ay hindi mo sa kanya sasabihin na mag-toothbrush ka nga!! Kahit SUKANG-SUKA ka na sa PAGPAPALITAN NYO NG LAWAY eh tuloy pa din ang TORRID KISSING nyo kahit gusto mo ng isigaw na…. “WAG KA NG MAGSALITA… UMUTOT KA NA LANG” HAHAHA!! YUCCCK!! KADIRI TU DET!!!

Kapag tinanggap mo ang lahat ng imperfections nya. EXAMPLE: MAY BUHOK SA KILI-KILE ANG BABAENG MINAMAHAL MO

SOBRANG BILIS NG ORAS PARA SA’YO PAG MAGKASAMA KAYO na tipong gusto mong huminto yung oras pag kasama mo siya humaba lang ang pagsasama nyo sa mga oras na iyon.

Pag bata ka pa kasi ka pa kasi feel mo attracted ka na sa tao eh. sa iba naman crush is just plain attraction, after nun wala na. ayun, nagandahan lang or nagwapuhan yung iba, di’ba?? iba kasi pag love. you just can’t stop thinking about that person and as much as possible kasama mo siya bawat minuto ng buhay mo.

"On The Side of Me"

2008-12-14T02:17:00.000-08:00

"Everyone needs a friend to hold
when it's cold outside, and there's no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
All alone I cried there was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared but you"

Let me cite that line from Corrine May's new single "On The Side of me.."

That made me reflect for a while: how many times did my friends rushed to my aid everytime I am depressed, bitter or at the face of a deep problem?

The answer: ALWAYS..

They never fail to leave me, yet I am unable to show them, how much I appreciate them.

In other words, I am always showing this vulnerable and flawed side of me.

So this time, I want to dedicate this post to my true friends, to my family and to Buddie, who are always there for me at all times..

And of course, to God, for giving you guys to me.. Thank you. :)

This time, I just want to show the best of me, Yuri's best, and how I appreciate you guys.

"I'm not the easiest person to love
I'm often the one who lets things go unresolved
Yet you choose to be, on the side of me, on the side of me"

Thank you so much guys.. You have no idea how much I love you..

Soon to come: blackbook.blogspot.com

2008-12-14T01:51:00.000-08:00

Maybe next week ko na sisimulan ang new blog site ko bout' sa mga extraterrestial things na nakita, nakilala at naranasan ko, hehe...

Naisip ko lang na gumawa ng new blog, since there's a lot of serious stuff posted here on this site, so I decided instead not to post those things and mix it with those serious stuff, but rather, create a new one.

Not for now.. Kakarecover ko lang sa pagiging bitter at depressed. Hai..

By the way, I am citing these persons for serving as inspirations for that upcoming blog:
-Ereon Boi
-Andrei Jon
-and the person behind Cofibean Glitteratti, although hindi naman ganun kabrutal ang magiging mga post ko..

Just for fun and citing different things lang.. ;)

My First Vector Image..

2008-12-13T03:11:00.000-08:00

Just wanna show to you people my very first vector image..

This was done using Adobe Illustrator.. =)

Obviously, I've done the bg of this pic through photoshop, which is a bit easy. It took me days just to finish that vector.

Comments are warmly accepted. :)

Bitter me...

2008-12-11T23:25:00.000-08:00

I'm so much bitter lately. So many things occurred kasi. I never even planned all of these, yet they came unexpectedly to ram me off my posture. I don't know. Maybe it's just that I am kind of taking these things hard upon myself, so hard that the only thing that I can do is to pretend as if everything was just fine.

As if.. I am just fine..

Okay, so sue me for being like that. It's not that I am emo. (Geez, I am not an emo for God's sake!) It's just that I'm kind of strained from all these things.

I guess I have to tell you guys those frustrations and bitter nothings of mine.

First, I have to contend with the different pressures at school. At first, I thought that things would be just fine and that nothing will be wrong.

Think again mister. The tables are turning against you.

That made me realize: I am still a pebble lost in the middle of a burning desert. Guess I have to keep myself together and study harder to be able to achieve all my expectations.

I have to be cautious this time. I have to remember how much cautious I am as a Mapuan, and I have to utilize that characteristic of mine right NOW.

So much for that Academics thing.

I am so much depressed as well, knowing that SHE'S not fine at all, plus the fact that I am FALLING OUT of love..

Am I falling out of love? Or is it just a mere doubt?

It's the first time I've felt this. I'm not the person who falls out of love this easily.

Guess distance and time have made their toll on me..

I'm really hoping that Buddie will be fine very soon. I miss her so much. Hai..

Until then all I can do is sigh and wait for things to become fine. :(

Life is so short...

2008-12-08T03:53:00.000-08:00

To start this off, I was shocked by the news of Marky Cielo's passing. I mean, it's really surprising for someone like him to leave this world too early. Nakakapanghinayang, kasi it seems that he's a good guy, everyone loves him, and that the threshold of death sucked all of his bright dreams into null.

That made me think: Life is so short..

Let's face it: We don't know what may happen next, or who will be gone upon the next second. No one knows. Not even a vampire with clairvoyant abilities can foresee it. The future is always changing.

Ako, to tell you the truth, hindi ko pa rin matanggap ang fact na lahat may katapusan. It hurts. Actually all of us kind of feel the same. Meaning, I'm still in this stage where I'm in denial of that thing called death. I'm not yet ready to accept that inevitable fate.

Sometimes, I do wonder: What lies next after one's passing? Or is there?

Another what if question I guess.

One time I asked my friend about that thing. He loves philosophy kasi, and he's quite perceptive when it comes to these things.

It's like this:
Yuri- (while in class) Bro, nakakacurious nuh? Anu kaya meron after natin mamatay?
Friend- Baliw! Anung sinasabi mo dyan? Eh buhay pa tayo eh.
Yuri- I'm just curious lang.
Friend- Meron man o wala, I assure you, death can't eat away a good life that's worth it.
Yuri- .....

Yeah, he's right. We don't need to think that there's the fact that all of us will die. What's important, is that as long as we still breathe, we're able to enjoy this gift of life to the fullest and show to our loved ones how much they mean to us before it's too late.

And you know, I don't really believe that there's a thing called death.

Here, read this one:

"For God so loved the world, that He gave us His only Son, for us not to perish, but to have EVERLASTING LIFE."
-John 3:16

See, God gave us a promise of eternal life with him, as long as we live a GOOD LIFE THAT'S WORTH A PENNY.

I think that's what matters the most.

Poem for the Heartbroken..

2008-12-05T21:59:00.000-08:00

Don't get me wrong: I am not heartbroken. I just want to write a poem bout' it and place myself in the shoes of someone being rejected by the one he/she loves.

So, here we go. Hope you appreciate it:

*****

If only you could see me this way...
Then maybe you'd sense how tormented I am now..
How pressured I am with your look..
Your voice echoes inside my room of a box...
Hitting my mind with every bounce.
My things are reclining.
I am starting to doubt you...
To question you...
Do you love me still?
If not
then why not let me go?
then why not set me free?
You are selfish... selfish indeed.
Selfish to not let me love someone else...
My heart is bound to you..
effortlessly...
still...
yet...
I don't love you the way I did before.
More? Less? I really can't tell..
It's all contrasting...
confusing...
One moment... I love you...
The next moment... I don't...
Then I'll secretly hate you...
But then I secretly want you...
In the end I come back to loving you... again...
Not a minute will pass without you occupying half of it...
How could you be this powerful?
How could you be this consistent?
How could you run through my mind always without getting tired?
How could you make me write a thousand letters...
a thousand poems about you?
How could you be this powerful?
How could you take over me like this?
How could you make me love you this way?
Despite all...
Despite all...
I just love you...

"Why do we fall?"

2008-12-05T21:53:00.000-08:00

"Why do we fall?"

Most of us ask that same question upon ourselves, thinking why we fail on some things, and why we have these wounds of deep sorrow..

Let me recall a scene from Batman Begins..

A young Bruce Wayne accidentally stumbles on a well outside the grounds of the Wayne Manor, and falls beneath the depths of a dark cave.

Moments after, his father came rushing to his aid, rescuing the young boy out of that innate darkness..

Later, he asks Bruce,

"Bruce... Why do we fall?"

Let us face it: most of us find ourselves confused with that same question.

But the fact is, the answer just lies within ourselves..

We often experience failure for a reason, and that is for us to realize the right path, and rise up on our own. We must not think that these serve as hindrances to us permanently. We must learn to hope, be brave and strong fr. our flaws, and make it soon enough..

And of course, think that someone will never give up on us, and that he/she'll be always there for you..

"The past shall give us hope..."

Let me recall yet another scene fr. Batman Begins..

Moments after narrowly escaping a burning Wayne Manor, Bruce and his butler Alfred seek safety upon the depths of the Batcave.

"What I have done Alfred? I've ruined everything.." Bruce said in a regretful and shocked voice.

Alfred knelt on him and asked him,

"Why do we fall sir?"

Bruce suddenly remembered the question, forgetting what his father told him bout it.

Alfred continued..

"It is for us to stand up again, and make it on our own..."

Bruce replied, "You haven't given up on me, don't you?"

Alfred, with a smile replies, "Never.."

*I dedicate this blog post to my Buddie..

It's not about the COLOR..

2008-12-05T21:42:00.000-08:00

I've found this one from Chris Tiu's blog, which was originally from his brother. I found the post very interesting, so I've decided to put it here.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the ideas here. This was originally from Charlie and Chris Tiu's respective blogs..

*****

I took this blog from my brother's multiply website http://charlestiu.multiply.com/journal/item/41/Theres_no_difference_between_GREEN_and_BLUE:

Seriously, apart from the physical properties, there isn't really anything different between these two colors, or for that matter DLSU and ADMU.

I am probably one of the few people who thinks that this rivalry is over the line. Apart from the usual battling of the players in the court, a lot of extra curricular activities are going on, from the fans bashing one another, their genuine hatred (for some at least) for one another, looking for reasons to make fun of the other and stuff like that. I wish people just left all the emotions on the court and let go of them right after the game (okay i admit i may be guilty!). Of course when i say this, it doesn't apply to all of the supporters, there still are those sensible ones. Maybe it's just me, since i don't believe that people need to fight one another. I feel that the cheering during the games get out of hand sometimes, especially when it becomes so personal. Like during game 2 of the series, some die-hard Lasalista shouts terrorist to Rabeh! I mean come on! what did he ever do to you to deserve being called that? And Ateneans who always love to make fun of Walsham, Rico or Cardona and others where's the breeding there? And when people shout Tangina Mo, its like what did my mom ever do to you?! As a player, you have to learn how to block it all out but man, sometimes it's gotta hurt too. But of course i've got to make it clear that not everyone does this. It's probably just a few of those super crazy die-hard fans!

I've been thinking about stuff and i realized that these two schools are no different from one another. Both schools are constantly looking for things against the other and when they do find something, it's like a time bomb waiting to explode. There will be non-stop taunting and teasing and all those stuff, and it goes back and forth. Let's see, Ateneo was having a blast by making fun of La Salle for their mistake in the spelling of La Salle during the cheering competition (i've always thought this was pointless. gee!) and they had their share of cheering wrong spelling! They've also had the pleasure of making fun of La Salle for their "cheating" (fielding ineligible players) and they've been saying bad stuff about La Salle for that. La Salle on the other hand, have had the pleasure of boasting their numerous championships through the years and they have this new bonfire incident to take against Ateneo (I must say this was a stupid move by some alumni who did it. Disgrace. To whoever did it, imagine if it were our own players? That would be below the belt)

La Salle calls Ateneo mayabang. Ateneo calls La Salle bobo. I don't know what the basis for this is because i believe that the education of both schools are equally as good (Yes ateneans, gotta admit La Salle has a helluva good engineering course, plus accounting too!) even though the rankings may differ (before La Salle was higher but now it's Ateneo) and as for the mayabang claim of La Salle, i'm sure there are tons of mayabang people from DLSU too.

Ateneo makes fun of Brian Ilad for throwing a punch during a game, gee could they have forgotten that our very own beloved LA Tenorio once threw a punch too, (a sucker cheap-shot punch for that matter) against La Salle pa!

Ateneans despise La Salle players like Maierhofer, Yeo, Cardona, Malabes and the other "mayabang" ones. La Salle despise Ateneo players like Salamat, Buenafe, Villanueva and those others they call mayabang too! But i bet one thing is for sure, as long as those players perform on the court, their own schools would love them no matter who they are (as long as they don't do anything to ruin the school's image) and they would stick with them. So i bet if those players changed teams and were playing for the other school, like lets say Rico played for Ateneo, it would be the other way around. Ateneo would love him and La Salle would hate him! haha that's just the way it works.

Players have to work hard and prove themselves to gain the respect of both schools. Ateneo and La Salle both have certain players that they like to make fun of or criticize (im talking about the fans) but of course once they do well then it all ends. I remember hearing non-stop criticism before for Rabeh, Ford Arao, even Jai Reyes and their very favorite Chris Tiu. But where are those naysayers now? Haha. I also knnow from my La Salle friends that they do this too. Kish Co was always being criticized until he showed up big and played well during last year's finals. People from DLSU keep on critcizing Walsham, Malabes, Ferdinand and others too. I remember they used to criticize my good friend Ty Tang back when he was still a rookie (i still used to root for La Salle cause of him hehe until Chris went to Ateneo) but after delivering a championship on his final year, i doubt they have anything bad to say about him anymore! So see? The way we act and treat players are alike! After all, we are all Filipinos still!

When Ateneo loses they blame the referees, when La salle loses, they blame the referees too. Both communities come up with really good explanations as to how the officials made them lose, but the bottom line is the outcome won't be changed. Both schools accuse each other of sourgraping when they lose.

I thought all the while that it was just Ateneo saying that DLSU buys players and gives alot of stuff under the table. I also thought na it was only Ateneo accusing DLSU of having double standards for the players, finding ways for them to enter the school even if they fail the entrance test and giving alot of special privileges and stuff like that. Apparently, as i stumbled upon some DLSU thread, i found that they too accuse Ateneo of exactly the same thing. I found it funny. I mean, both sides would go on debating and finding evidence to prove that they are right and rest assured that they will both defend themselves and claim that this doesnt happen in their school. But i bet that it does happen, in both schools! Funny though that the threads of both schools accuse the other about the same thing! Amusing and amazing.

I know right now that DLSU is having the last laugh especially after the bonfire incident. They can make fun of our breeding. But Ateneo has been saying the same thing through the years (not coming out for the championship awarding?). I don't think it will ever stop but i do wish that it were less volatile! Sure that might take the fun out of the UAAP, but it would hurt less people too!

And one more common thing is that both schools love to generalize. When one Atenean makes a bad goof-up (bonfire!) its generalized to the whole community! When one Lasallite makes a mistake or when there is a bad incident (awarding, illegitimate players) it is generalized to the whole community too! And i personally think that it is not fair. No matter what sort of education each school gives to their students, one way or another, there will always be those immature boneheads who deviate from the norm. And they are the ones who do these stupid acts that unfortunately people automatically generalize to the school. So no matter how much Ateneans love to say that they are superior over DLSU when it comes to education, i do not believe that one bit! (for the record, i have never made fun of DLSU when it comes to that wrong spelling incident, as well as i am never personal to any of their players when i cheer. I cheer for my school, not against another school.)

On a side note, i must say that i am deeply disappointed and embarrassed by that bonfire incident. I would like to apologize to the La Salle community for that act. But as i said in the preceding paragraph, the action of one alumni (who wrote their names on the wood) must and should not be generalized to that of the whole school. I believe Fr. Ben was very angry upon finding out about it and he will issue an official letter of apology to DLSU. I was talking to Rabeh about it and he said that yeah, it really was below the belt and we both agreed that if that were done to our players we would be outraged too, so i understand where the DLSU community is coming from, but learn to direct your anger please. It is not the team who did it nor is it any school official/administration. Oh yeah, and regarding that article on Rabeh almost transferring to LSGH but didn't because he didn't pass; well, his comment to that was that it was "a bunch of BS" :)

So there you have it, i don't know maybe it's just me who sees it that way. I'm sure alot of people will beg to differ. Unfortunately for you, if you want to beat me up for writing this, you'd have to wait til next year since i'm in far far away land :)

One thing i do know is that no matter what each school says about the other and no matter what wrong actions the school may have done, a Lasallite will always be proud to be a Lasallite and an Atenean will always be proud to be an Atenean too.

A Poem By Me: "Alone"

2008-12-05T20:58:00.000-08:00

Alone

A dry breeze is blowing

The city is getting cold

I wonder how many seasons have passed

without even a sound?

All of the people coming and going

bear heavy burdens,

searching for tomorrow

within the heat haze wavering in the distance.

Feelings like sand

falling through my hands...

Back then, the words that pierced my heart

suddenly started to throb with pain, but...

I've searched for pieces of myself,

counting the endless nights all the while.

These feelings are becoming so certain

I almost lose myself.

Right now, without fail, I will walk forward, however far.

I wonder, why is the sky

so vast?

Even though I tried to yell, my voice didn't come

and the tears poured out.

I wonder where the birds are flying off to,

as they freely slice through the wind?

One can't return to the same place

as it once was in days gone by.

Even if I give up my dream like this,

I won't suppress my soaring heartbeat.

Someday, I want to reach

as high as the clouds.

I'll spread wide the wings in my heart and journey once again

I will reach it, without fail.

I've searched for pieces of myself,

counting the endless nights all the while.

These feelings are becoming so certain

I almost lose myself.

Right now, without fail, I will walk forward, however far.

So, why am I posting this? La lang. This poem's quite memorable kasi. I made this poem of mine right after the very night Kaye broke up with me. I was so depressed back then, so in order to make good use of that sad feeling I've decided to write a song. I subtitled it as "Sonnet 31", in memory of that fateful date: May 31, 2005...

What If...

2008-12-05T17:18:00.000-08:00

While I am trying to decide on a suitable topic for my new blog post, I was listening to Babyface's song "What If?" While listening to its lyrics, naicp ko ung npakadami kong "what if" sa life ko.

So, shall I share those what ifs?

Here we go..

"What if, life is just a mere illusion, na there's something more real pa kesa d2?"

"What if, hindi ako umalis ng Mapua? Would some things never change?"

"What if, hindi niya talaga ako mahal? Hai."

"What if, I'm more taller, attractive and appealing? Nah.."

"What if, malapit ng mag-end ang life ko?"

"What if, hindi ko siya sinaktan?"

"What if, hindi kami ngbreak ni Kaye? How things would be?"

"What if, nawala na lang kayo bigla sa life ko? Makakaya ko kaya?"

"What if, I am a star?"

"What if, life's meaningless?"

My, so there you go. My what ifs. Wonder if my answer sa mga what ifs na iyan..

-Twilight-

2008-12-05T04:48:00.001-08:00

And right now I am so addicted to Twilght, yeah! I've just realized: there is something beneath this saga that's gripping, and that its innate appeal will tempt you to read it at its fullest.

Maybe predictable somehow ang premise niya, or in other words, a cliche. But don't get me wrong, this story's unique and quite relative to us people.

To summarize it all in a nutshell: It is all about a young girl named Isabella Swan, who falls in love with a 128-year old vampire named Edward Cullen upon her arrival to Forks. This will result in a series of events that will test a unique love between a flawed mortal and a vampire.

Although the story- yah, let's admit that- has its flaws, as well as the movie itself, it is redeemable naman in terms of its central plot.

Overall, it is a good ride from start to finish. Actually, nasa Eclipse na ako. Thanks to the e-books being sent to me, I can now finish the series without purchasing any hardcover/softcover novels.

And oh, the Cullens are so cool, as in. They're like your X-men just around the deepest reins of your town. Especially Alice. Yes, the clairvoyant one. Similar actually yung power ni Alice sa abilities ni Isaac Mendez to predict the future using the medium of drawing.

I am giving Twilight 4 out of 5. :)

12-05-2008

2008-12-05T04:01:00.000-08:00

It's been a tiring day. Haizt. Let's just say that this day did not turn out as I've planned, somehow..

How shall I start? Hmm...

5:45 am. I rushed out of my house to go to the bus terminal. Ina-assume ko lang na dapat maaga ako, since it's the Christmas season na, and I have to expect heavy traffic na. So there, naglakad ako till' the terminal, hanggang sa nakaarrive na ako dun past 5:55 am.

I got pissed agad because of the person seated next to me inside the bus. Wla xang ginawa kundi tumingin sa akin pati sa dala-dala kong money at ung isa kong phone, in a manner na, parang close kami. Cmon', reality check mister. Basta, I went out of the bus annoyingly ng mgstop n siya sa Buendia.

7:30. It's my English class already, and I'm about to be late. Darn it! sabi na ba eh, I should've rode the bus earlier than my usual. Stupid traffic. Hai. But Thank God It's Friday, my prof has a relative easy mood earlier. And it is my first time naman so no worries.

9:45. Discrete Math class ko na, and still, wala pa rin ang prof namin. Hai, darn it. Dumating na siya past 9:50, and you know what? Dahil sa haba ng quiz eh medyo kulang yung time para i-solve ung ibang items. Kaasar, alam na may quiz, hindi inagahan. Darn.

Then afterwards after Discrete Math, nagmadali na ako pumunta sa MoA. I've decided to give myself a treat dahil this week's kinda tiring for me, plus the fact that I have to buy some stuff for my project as well as gifts for some of my friends. I sensed kasi na, mawawalan na ako ng time later and of course, ayokong sumabay sa Christmas Scuffle. So there you go.

The pissing part: maraming tao than the usual Fridays na ginagala ko often. Damn it. What's more pissing is that wala sa MoA ung mga hinanahanap ko na clothes for myself. SO i decided to watch a movie muna (Quarantine, which is good by the way), stuff myself with food, play a little at Powerstation and ride a bus to Makati. I'll be buying my clothes na lang sa Glorietta.

And guess what? Mas malaki ang influx ng mga tao sa Ayala, pati na rin sa mga dress shop. Sa sobrang fuss eh nainis ako, lalu na sa mga nakasabay ko sa Penshoppe na guy, na parang ewan kung magtanong sa akin. I never gave a reply to him and left swiftly.

But thank God nabili ko nman yung mga gifts pati mga clothes ko and stuff for my painting project.

For me, it is the worst so far of my "Gala Fridays.."

Question?

2008-12-04T03:49:00.000-08:00

"What do you do when you're falling out of LOVE to someone who loves you back?"

Hai..

My LSS since last week...

2008-12-04T03:45:00.000-08:00

My... I'm goin' crazy na about Paramore. I think this is what we call "fan-boyism", as the anime addicts call it.

It's just that I find their songs too cool. Actually, sa sobrang cool nila halos lahat ng songs nila nasa pc ko at Ipod.

Anyways, just wanna share to you my LSS since last week..

"My thoughts you can't decode.."

"The past shall give us hope.."

2008-12-04T03:00:00.000-08:00

"The past shall give us hope..."

Indeed, it does. It's just that most of us treat the hurtful past as some kind of garbage.

I've learned that quote from my childhood best friend. She made me throw that taciturn side of mine and change my entire personality into a bright one, forgetting all the hurtful episodes of my life and turning them into tiny droplets of hope that serve as my motivation for me to become stronger than the present.

I've just realized n, dapat pala eh di ka nag-sstay sa isang part ng life mo. Kung hindi para sa iyo ang bagay na un no matter how you strive into it, then leave it. Instead na, masad tayo because of that, we must rather become happy because we learned something from that, plus the fact that it will impart you something that will turn you into someone more wise and strong than before.

Just like Bruce Wayne. He still carries that hurtful event where his parents got killed by a mugger, setting up his motivation as Batman. He realized upon the storyline "Heart of Hush" that he must move on from that fateful night, and instead, be motivated by their memories as Gotham City's inspirations, and rather, fight not for them, but for the people he care for instead.

"Why do we fall?"

If you feel so comfused bout' everything, then try to answer that question.

Actually, the answer is quite obvious than we really know. Pero sadly, medyo blind tau sa fact na un, isn't it?

As long as you believe in hope, then surely, the Past will give you hope..

"Why do we fall? It is for us, sir, to stand up and become stronger.."
-Alfred Pennyworth, Batman Begins

My review: Batman R.I.P.

2008-12-04T02:28:00.000-08:00

So, this time I am doing a review about Batman R.I.P, the latest story arc in the Batman comic series. Due to the hype and large demands for this latest storyline in the casebook of the Dark Knight, I've decided to grab a copy and read it.

Actually, the story arc depicts the "end" of Bruce Wayne as Batman, as well as the foreboding insanity that he feels following his travels and the previous attempts on his life.

This comic story line is a monumental one, due to the fact that this will foreshadow Bruce's final fate as the Dark Knight, and will set the stage for a new person to take over the cowl and cape and continue on his legacy as Gotham's lone protector. It's hinted that Dick Grayson, more known as Nightwing, will take over the Batman identity after years of fighting crime as Nightwing.

So, what are my views about the story?

R.I.P. is quite a ride, mainly because of the twists that the story holds, plus showing a different Batman here: insane, wrathful and more violent than ever. This story is also commended for showing such images of the varying wavelengths of insanity, as well as placing Bruce Wayne on a stage where everything hangs within the balance.

Also commendable is the Joker: in this storyline he is quite more violent and maniacal than Heath Ledger's joker in The Dark Knight. In the end, he stands out among all the villains being featured upon the story.

The only leaky hole was the fourth issue of the storyline. It was rushed, messed up and compressed to the point that you'll be disappointed by how the conclusion will go despite of how great the first three issues were. Even with these flaws, R.I.P. is still quite a looker to behold.

I'll never spoil you with what happens within the storyline. Probably, second to Twilight, this story will prompt you to grip at your seats and be curious at what will happen next.

I give Batman R.I.P. 4 out of 5 stars.

My First Entry..

2008-11-29T22:00:00.001-08:00

Hi! Welcome to my site! It's my very first post here at Blogspot, so I'm gonna make my debut post a long one.

So, here we go.

This week's a stressful one for me, but memorable. Many things have occurred here and now. Some things even changed a bit.

Let me narrate them piece by piece:

First Part: "Things Change"

Let me just ask you guys: What would you do if you're falling out of love?

I know what you're thinking. Yep, it was my dilemma.

I've felt lately that, things were not the same as before. See, it's difficult having this distance thing. Indeed, my friend is right: Intimacy is important in a relationship, be it of love or friendship.

Plus the fact that, I am not yet decided with whom I'll love. Will I stick to the one beside me, or the one who just came?

The usual cliche.

It's giving me a headache. Darn it.

Second Part: "School's so Uncool"

Yup, you've just read it: it is so uncool.

Last Monday, I've saved 12 hours of my time just to devote myself upon studying Accounting. It hindered me from doing other important things, such as studying for my Java and Hypermedia quizzes, buying myself some stuff and the like.

And you know how it all ended the next day?

All of my efforts were wasted. Me and my classmates reviewed that hard for the quiz, only to find out that the Journal Entry lesson was not included. We all ended up acing the exam, but disappointed with the fact that we wasted hours of sleep for nothing.

That's what you get when you have a prof who can't explain things further.

My, my..

Third Entry: "Happy Note"

Let's take things down the positive aisle.

I just finished a novel of mine! It's actually a detective/action novel. Its title is Codename: Emperor. It's quite long and darker than my previous stories, concerning the fact that it is a crime novel. But the story itself does not lose my usual fantasy elements, albeit toned down to touch reality itself.

That's about it for now. Ta ta!